50 « BlondeAmbitchin'

Aging is GOOD, whether you’re cheese or meat…

Now, relax, I am not talking about aged meat for consumption.

Eww.

I mean meat as in a human, you know, living meat, so to speak. Yep.

I already know that green, fuzzy, rank smelling ground beef or graying, putrid steak or gelled, gooey, rancid pork chops would be bad for you, and that’s why I am not at all saying that old meat is good for anything, unless of course, you hide it under your ex’s car seat while he is parked in long term parking at the airport and away on a business trip in the summertime heat…Just sayin…but.

Eww.

Ok. Back to the topic…

I am saying that old people are fabulous!

Not that I’m even old, really.

I mean, yeah, technically I am still in my 40’s (shut up all you 20-30-somethings, this will be you very soon!) but I have been watching a lot of friends over the last couple of years celebrate their 50th birthday.

When did 50 turn into such a chic number? (This year, right?)

When we were, ahem, younger, we thought 50 was like so oooollllldddd.

Totally out of touch.

Welp, that was wrong. I mean, 50 is really an accomplishment !

Just look at all that I have done and have learned!

I am strong and fit and happy and almost 50. Oh dear.

The kids are mostly grown and gone. The older ones are married and starting their own families. That would make me, gasp, a Grandma.

Now back when I was a kid, my Grandma was ancient.

All wrinkly and gray haired and slow moving.

Very nice and sweet, for sure, but definitely old.

I could not imagine her going down the slide with me at the playground or playing hopscotch, or Chinese jump rope.

She gave us treats and would have us sit beside her on the couch and she might tell a story or two.

But, the lives and times of Grandmas have changed!

They are no longer “old” as a requirement. Grandmas today are active and vibrant and young!

Even if they are going to be 50 sometime this year!

50 is an important number. It is probably your halfway point. That’s a sobering thought, isn’t it? Not that I am not sober right now, well, it is Saturday, so just never mind my sobriety right now.

But. To get past all the horrible milestones in order to be able to finally let my hair down (so to speak, it actually is down today) and to be able to carry on with grace and faith and confidence in myself and my own decisions is truly something to be celebrated.

I made it out of my 20’s after having married, having kids, and all the while keeping up with what I was supposed to be- a mom, a wife, a caretaker and caregiver.

As I rolled into my 30’s with a little more confidence, I began to listen to that song in my heart.

I was still careful to not actually sing it out loud, but I was also brave enough to sometimes deviate from what others expected of me and to sometimes do things my way (Thanks, Frank Sinatra, you do inspire me!)

Then, I approached my 40’s with a sense of disbelief. Where had the time gone? 40? I used to have friends when I was a kid, and their parents were in their 40’s! Why did it seem like they were so, so much older back then? Yeeps!

I, however, made the transition into my 40’s and did not take for granted the compliments I would receive about looking like a sister to my grown daughters, those comments were so needed in order to validate my own sense of not being old. Because I’m NOT old. Duh.

Now, as 50 is approaching, I am not happy about the stigma attached to that number.

I am NOT old.

I am strong and fit and happy. I can run (if I want to). I can go down the slide (and do) with my grandchildren. I play hopscotch and Chinese jump rope with the kids and grandkids. And I can belt out the song in my heart without any shyness or worry about what anyone else is gonna think.

I, physically, am good.

And, mentally, I am even better.

I have learned to let the small stuff go, and yeah, it mostly is all small stuff. I have learned to not live to please anyone else but myself. (Mostly.)

You can’t be happy until you are happy. And you won’t be happy if you just go through your days doing what others expect from you and not doing what you really want.

What makes you really smile? Only you know that answer.

I love to write. I have more drafts than publishes, but I am writing and that makes me happy.

I finally decided to be true to my heart after I had lost sight of my own self for years while raising kids and making sure I was doing everything I had to do for them. But, as they started to graduate and go to college and make fabulous lives for themselves, I wondered where I stood.

I mean, if you are no longer “Mommy” after 30-ish years on the job, who the bleep are you?

Welp, you get to find out! And it is not nearly as scary as you’d think. Well, it actually is, but you have to be brave. You have to know that 50 is not an age, it is a milestone!

So, no matter what age you are, you need to know that it just doesn’t matter.

Age is just a number.

I mean, how old would you be if you did not know your birthday? I think I would be fine picking right here, right now.

I know I wouldn’t want to struggle through my 20’s again, although that body I took for granted then would be fabulous to have again now, right?

And 30’s, well, no. I don’t want to go back. I have learned many lessons and I am grateful that I am smart enough to take away the lesson and leave behind the crap.

40’s? Fun times. I don’t even think that, as you go through your 40’s, you understand that suddenly, the next thing in store for you is going to be your 50’s!

It sounds so much worse than it is! (right?!)

I am going to embrace 50 and my 50’s and enjoy every minute! Because, yeah, I may be blonde, but I can count…and I know what comes after the 50’s…and I am definitely not ready to think about that yet!